The last day...

Today is the last day I will have my beautiful cats, as tonight we will be taking them to their new home.
I am so appreciative of the wonderful family who has offered to take them in and add them to their home, but I cannot help feeling like the worst owner in the world.

As I have talked about before, to me if you take on a pet, you are responsible for them for life.  I feel like I have let them down in the worst way possible.  Yesterday, I went to the flat to sit with them for a while to say goodbye with a big snuggle.  As most of my furniture has been moved out over the last few weeks, I popped the stereo on, and sat on the lounge with my knitting, as I always do.
As expected, Nanashi was straight into my lap and Bala was at my side.  It was strange to realise how much I had missed the weight of their little bodies as I sit and knit and having their company in general.  We have been constant companions for 7-8 years now, and through all the years, we have all been there for each other.

These thoughts were rolling around in my head as I sat there and cried a little over my knitting.  While I actually held my emotions in check before I went to the gym, it was after I got home that I had a massive meltdown.  I was fine until I started talking to my aunt about borrowing her cat carrier so that I could move both cats at once.  From here it just kind of snowballed into the kind of crying that could get hysterical pretty quick.  I have to say, I am happy that I had B there to calm me down. I hate crying and it took me a little while to rein in all of those emotions... they are now safely back in their little box, and I will just have to deal with them later.

The Dress

Nessa got to wear her dress to day care today as it is finally warming up.   She was very excited about it, and I even came across a little pink bolero for her to wear with it.  She did want to wear the blue Leafy Shrug I made, however I have to admit I am not so comfortable about something knitted going to daycare - especially when it is small and could be lost.

I quickly snapped a couple of photos of her wearing it this morning, although she kept moving, so all of the pics are slightly blurry lol.

I have to admit, she looked really cute in it and I felt so proud :D

Without the Bad, there cannot be Good

This post is a bit of a mixed bag really.

Let's start with the happy stuff :D  Last night I finished all 33 repeats of the edging of my Maluka and then knit up all 200 sts and started on the short rows.  I am now 'half way' where the rows are getting longer, and while I don't usually like stocking stitch, I am really enjoying this part!  It is knitting up so well and the Fibrewebs MCN that I used is just so OMG soft!!!  It's so soft that I can't even imagine what it will be like once I have blocked it out.  It would make gorgeous baby items!  I don't have a picture of it at this stage, but I might grab one at lunch because... *drumroll* I have bought my knitting to work with me for the first time since I have started working here.  I always took my knitting to my last job, but this is a much different environment where I am the only girl with a bunch of mechanic blokes! lol However, I know them all pretty well now, so it will be interesting to see their reactions if they pop their heads into the tea room at lunch time lol!

Now, the sad news, is that I have found out that we got the big no from the landlord in regards to bringing my 2 cats in.  I have had these cats for so long, that they are just a part of me.  I have discovered that rather than deal with this kind of pain, I just try to block it out, and try not to talk about it because then I have to deal with it. 

I have had Bala since I very first moved out of home (starting to get teary already - sorry for the outpouring guys) when I was 18.  I am now 27 and she has been my constant companion through all of my ups and downs.  She is your typical "I am a cat and I am aloof".  She is as independent as I am, which made us for a great pair.  She is also the typical 'scardy cat' who is very cautious and graceful in everything that she does.

If Bala is chalk, then Nanashi is cheese!  This cat is cuddly! He wants the attention, and he wants it now!  

He loves everyone and when he was a kitten was a complete nutter, doing laps of my flat and chasing Bala around.  I got Nanashi 7 years ago when my bestie Tory moved over from NZ.  He was to be her cat and he was our little baby (he used to sleep in our arms - still does actually!) until she had to move back home. This cat, I swear, thinks it's a dog!  He comes when he is called, he growls if he has chicken in his mouth and if I don't put toilet blue into the toilet, he tried to drink out of the toilet bowl... yup, he is a nutter!!

So, these are my fur-babies that I have had since they were kittens.  I am going to try and talk to one of my aunts about taking them on board, probably for a couple of years until B and I get our own place. But, how can I forgive myself for letting them down?? They are innocent and have done nothing wrong.  If my aunt is unable to take them, to be perfectly honest, I don't think I have any other options really and I don't know what I will do.

Those of you who know me and see me regularly, know that this has been going on.  But, I would ask that you don't ask me about the cats as to be honest, right now I really don't want to talk about it and will end up as a blubbering mess if I do. 

Before I go though, I would like to share these couple of photos of Nanashi, as he truely is a nutter and I love him for it.

Knitworthy People

I am quite a selfish knitter.  I love knitting and making things, however, I have learned over the years that I really dislike making something that someone has asked for, I much rather make it on my own steam.

While surfing Ravelry (in the Selfish Knitters forum no less lol), I came across this post which has made me think about all of this again.  The reaction that pinkundine got from her boyfriend is, in all respects, probably one of the best possible reactions that you can hope for.  If I am to make something for someone, I want the "oohhhhh" and "aaaaahhhh" factor, whereby the person in question makes it known that they understand how much work goes into anything hand made.

Maybe I sound a little precious, but recent experience has left me a little wounded.  I made a pair of socks for a close family member and basically got a "that's not a good enough present" back. While I was quite devastated at the time, and contemplated writing this post back then, I have moved on somewhat and am just very much more selective in who I make for. 

Sometimes it's not just about the gimmepigs out there, sometimes it's about the response that you get can get back.  Knitting something for someone brings me happiness, and seeing their excitement just brings so much more additional happiness.